Post by Cyan on Aug 9, 2019 10:14:54 GMT
Okay, i just read the news and kept myself up to date on whats happening. Spirit seems to be doing a little better but its still down, had a VERY pleasant energy exchange with one of the homeless women at the shelter, without going too much into the details it was a very good experience and I would say that since i have known her for a few years and all we did was sit within a distance from one and "smell the astral" that it is allowed under my Skuld infatuation, i checked both before and after and was very calm and "safe". It was a thoroughly pleasant thought experience. More of that
Other than that, since i put everyone into the Fortification mode before I left and when i got to the home at around midnight there was only room in one room but the room was empty and there where plenty of pillows around, i took one and curled for a sleep in the corner. On the downsides, they close the "rest area bathrooms" at the same time they wake people up in the rest area itself so you have to walk to the kitchen where most of toilets are used by drug addicts for injection safety zones. OR, you have to walk to the sauna and take the bathroom there, this creates a lot of unneccesary hassles and i would, god willing! , wish that they keep the downstairs toilets open for 15 minutes after wake up. Otherwise my time in the shelter has thus far been good. Slept on a sturdy mattress in a clean non smelly room with blankets and a pillow for free as I have nothing to my name at the moment:D. All in all, doing well.
I also thought about the cause of my spiritual poverty and got 2 answers. Firstly, I prefer to live at the level where the poorest in the society live to have my "ear" to the ground and be aware of anyone making random moves. You could call it the "demon/vampire hunter angel" type pose. I dont give up on my hope or ideals but i would prefer to keep my ear to the ground. It feels if I turned my ISK into euros now i would not benefit from it in the deep core level as I would lose my "street" for "hollywood alley" type life so i wont make that trade at the moment. There is a degree of government help im even WILLING to accept instead of considering it butting in my business. Which to me, on a personal note, causes discord with the capitalist idea that everyone who is poor will always take all money given to them. Somtimes it seems you really want to say no.
The second thing I thought about is that I feel like im a creature living in the body, not the body or "soul" but rather perhaps the primary ego or some form of "entity" living that simply desires to make sure I never get what I really crave for as that would increase my risk of "psychotic behavior" and harm to others. Like its safer and perhaps "more godly" to control yourself harshly, i feel like that maybe some form of possession but it does feel STRONGLY like myself. Ill see. Anyway, todays schedule:
threatmap.checkpoint.com/ThreatPortal/livemap.html
Other than that, since i put everyone into the Fortification mode before I left and when i got to the home at around midnight there was only room in one room but the room was empty and there where plenty of pillows around, i took one and curled for a sleep in the corner. On the downsides, they close the "rest area bathrooms" at the same time they wake people up in the rest area itself so you have to walk to the kitchen where most of toilets are used by drug addicts for injection safety zones. OR, you have to walk to the sauna and take the bathroom there, this creates a lot of unneccesary hassles and i would, god willing! , wish that they keep the downstairs toilets open for 15 minutes after wake up. Otherwise my time in the shelter has thus far been good. Slept on a sturdy mattress in a clean non smelly room with blankets and a pillow for free as I have nothing to my name at the moment:D. All in all, doing well.
I also thought about the cause of my spiritual poverty and got 2 answers. Firstly, I prefer to live at the level where the poorest in the society live to have my "ear" to the ground and be aware of anyone making random moves. You could call it the "demon/vampire hunter angel" type pose. I dont give up on my hope or ideals but i would prefer to keep my ear to the ground. It feels if I turned my ISK into euros now i would not benefit from it in the deep core level as I would lose my "street" for "hollywood alley" type life so i wont make that trade at the moment. There is a degree of government help im even WILLING to accept instead of considering it butting in my business. Which to me, on a personal note, causes discord with the capitalist idea that everyone who is poor will always take all money given to them. Somtimes it seems you really want to say no.
The second thing I thought about is that I feel like im a creature living in the body, not the body or "soul" but rather perhaps the primary ego or some form of "entity" living that simply desires to make sure I never get what I really crave for as that would increase my risk of "psychotic behavior" and harm to others. Like its safer and perhaps "more godly" to control yourself harshly, i feel like that maybe some form of possession but it does feel STRONGLY like myself. Ill see. Anyway, todays schedule:
threatmap.checkpoint.com/ThreatPortal/livemap.html