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Post by Cyan on Oct 22, 2019 16:23:47 GMT
I'll try to write the B4 thing now. "Hey all, this is Aki, I've been on B4 for close to a decade now, I changed my online name a lot here so not all my posts are visible under my current account but im sure you can find them. I've been here at least under the names Hototo, Bourbon betty, Hkelukka, Cyan and probably my real name Aki Greus. Cant remember exactly, so, long story short, I got into a lifetime moderation and my appropriate messages got unposted as well so Im taking this to mean its time to move on. So im posting this now and going through the issues I've noticed and then explaining in short where to find me if you want to contact me again. Its been fun and educational but I do agree, its time to move on. Firstly, I was initially interested in the idea of reaching 4thD positive but as I studied it more in depth and what life there would be like as well as what people trying to strive for that life were like, I came to the conslusion that its not a good outcome to aim for, I feel trying to reach that outcome is the same as downplaying the importance of your biological life and trying to reject "gods gift" of a physical being, it is akin to the old stories of mages trying to storm heaven to become gods. It usually ends badly. In my view the sensible action is to remain in 3rdD as long as possible and revel in the gift of physical life and then when that is over go where it is best, perhaps to 4th, perhaps to another veiled planet. I feel that most who are trying to reach the 4thD do not understand that at the beginning you literally become everyone and you lose the gift of feeling of multiplicity and of society, you feel, literally, alone. While its easy to say that my experiences are the result of Negative 4thD, I would sidestep that whole thing and laugh at it. So, my first main point of disconection is that I feel the whole idea of trying to reach 4thD from either path is counterproductive and will result in harm. From that point of view, its needless to say time to move on. Secondly, B4 has taken a very strong stance in a political situation and side with one camp exclusively and call the other camp evil, this has become the norm in many spiritual and "left wing" forums where people try to be good, they form the outgroup and then try to destroy it to show their superiority, ive seen this happen before and after trying to, unsuccesfully, point out taht this will be bad for the community I've decided to move on and instead warn others of assoicating with B4 as it has turned from an all inclusive religion into a "our truth only cult", which is sad, but so often happens. In short, the stance on politics and many other things has converted B4 to a cult, i believe this has a bad outcome but I would prefer to leave rather than watch this outcome unfold, hope I am wrong. Thirdly, the gender war, I was expecting a modicum of balance but the situation shifted to one where the men are always the rapists and the women always the victims, this whole discussion went to the point of considering men to be always evil and women to be always good, this has also happened elsewhere and usually leads to the militant end of the scale. While i doubt many consider it a problem, even more that its real, it was one of the final straws. While there are a few others the concentrated effort of "bad outsider" sent towards me was reason enough to leave, add to it the feel of complete disagreement about "rejecting gods gift to become better gods" was completely against my religion, in short, i found it to be a pleasurable community for a long time, then it shifted from all points welcome and discussion about their various points into one where the conversation was directed at "Getting to 4th" as quickly as possibly and I couldnt help but feel alienated. In short, while there were conflicts points the main idea is that I found myself completely disagreeing with the religion, so im leaving. In short, I came to believe that the goal is 51% selfish and 49% selfless and that the rest of the outcomes mentioned are traps with clear warnings. So; I started a forum; gallareue.boards.net/I can be found on Facebook at: www.facebook.com/aki.greusI'm on EVE with Hkelukka and im online in various places with either Hkelukka or Cyan. I offer healing and spiritual consultation services, you pay what you can and if you cant afford anything, I do a fair bit of work for free. So thats about it, time for me to bow out, hope you all enjoy the community, such as it became. May your travels in the 4thD be good for you.
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Post by Cyan on Oct 22, 2019 16:24:32 GMT
One of my childhood favorite mystical songs came on in a nightcore version after posting, it was always the song of "returning home" after a deep journey.
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Post by Cyan on Nov 20, 2019 3:34:14 GMT
Hi all, this is Cyan/Hkelukka/Not Sure/Bourbon Betty/Hototo/Aki Greus.
I've been a poster here for close to a decade or so, probably 2 soon. I was around when Carla was still alive, a great lady, funny. I recently got into a bit of a scuffle with the administration and was put on permanent moderation and even my appropriate posts were not getting through so I've taken this is a sign that its time to vacate.
I recently started my own forum with another poster from here, Gemini, and Im liking my new forum style, Feel free to join, its gallareue.boards.net/
Now, as I depart I have a few observations and comments to make and i'll try to get a few replies posted either by myself directly without the moderation or by Gemini posting my things, if the situation allows. We'll see.
Personal life has been improving substantially lately and I tie that with the choices I've started to make as of late.
Firstly.
I believe trying to reach 4th D or higher intentionally is a trap and is the same as handing the magical scepter too early so it should be avoided. That is the primary reason I'm leaving, I'm no longer of the opinion that 4th Density, no matter if positive or negative, is not worth the loss of the veil and deep connections with matter and biological life. It is to me, a harmful outcome.
Secondly.
To reflect the previous I've decided to become 51%STS and 49% STO and try to reach as close to 50.0(infinite 0)1 to STS and the rest to STO. So that all my actions always show how I benefit but that the spare energy is always given to others to benefit themselves as they see best. That has resulted in my life quickly improving and getting a new apartment and a new computer.
Thirdly.
I believe the community is picking a side in a few earth political conflicts that are outside of its primary purview and that is causing a slant in the discussion, one of the many i observed was the "left v right" fight. The community should remain able to discuss but moderation should not hold a preference as it did in the late.
That is about it. I'll be around on my forums, responding to PMs for a while as they alert by Email and you can reach me on facebook.
Thanks for the memories, tis was fun.
Edit: I sat on this for a while and reading it now it is appropriate, i attempted to post in the how evil beings meditate thread but even that did not get through, let that be my final post. Please use Gallareue in the future. /edit
This thread calls to me. Lets see if this message goes through, ever since i got the "moderation" status none of my messages, the appropriate ones included, have gotten through, so, let us give this a try. I'm also certain now i'll leave very soon, was intending not to post, but as I said, this speaks to me.
Hello, I'm a negative being, as Ra explains it, I value wisdom over love, or rather, light over love, in that love should always be studied in the careful light of reason and not given into without deep study, when study concludes it is good for you then all obstacles in the path of that love should be removed with maximum efficiency and echolesness.
So, that being said, I meditate as follows.
I prefer either a sparse room, or a well populated public place where sitting just slightly out of the main path of traffic and doing my own thing, such as drinking a bottle of water, which i occasionally shake to denote interest in things like "well spoken, random background conversation, that was illuminating". If im at a sparse room such as my own appartment I prefer to have a large playlist of all my collected musics and videos from favorite TV shows to all random songs i've ever heard to every game characters every spoken line and grunt. I put this playlist on the randomizer and ask the spirit of meditation/relaxation/core/myself/god to play the playlist like a finely tuned instrument to me. I then listen to what the universe has to say, i at the same time usually lie down in my comfortable, yet sparse, bed with a blanket and a pillow and listen intently. Sometimes this dialogue goes on for days and weeks, sometimes its only a few minutes, during this entire time I bombard myself with every negative thought about myself I can find, every dragon and demon and run straight towards them at full speed. They all dissapear without fail. Only the things that I have an emotional contact with remain. That way after a while of listening to "just chaos" there is an "order to it" and the universe makes sense, in a way, god is talking to me.
Your results may vary, as others smartly said, everyones method varies.
Anyway, hope this contributes.
Currently at ->http://gallareue.boards.net/thread/171/cenala-chalana-goddess-health-nature?page=16&scrollTo=8714
Cenala clearly guided me.
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Post by Cyan on Nov 20, 2019 3:34:25 GMT
Better?
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Post by Anthro Teacher on Nov 20, 2019 4:26:43 GMT
That looks good. Give it a bit to review and add/change anything and I can post later.
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Post by Cyan on Dec 15, 2019 18:58:47 GMT
Just posted this:
This thread calls to me. Lets see if this message goes through, ever since i got the "moderation" status none of my messages, the appropriate ones included, have gotten through, so, let us give this a try. I'm also certain now i'll leave very soon, was intending not to post, but as I said, this speaks to me.
Hello, I'm a negative being, as Ra explains it, I value wisdom over love, or rather, light over love, in that love should always be studied in the careful light of reason and not given into without deep study, when study concludes it is good for you then all obstacles in the path of that love should be removed with maximum efficiency and echolesness.
So, that being said, I meditate as follows.
I prefer either a sparse room, or a well populated public place where sitting just slightly out of the main path of traffic and doing my own thing, such as drinking a bottle of water, which i occasionally shake to denote interest in things like "well spoken, random background conversation, that was illuminating". If im at a sparse room such as my own appartment I prefer to have a large playlist of all my collected musics and videos from favorite TV shows to all random songs i've ever heard to every game characters every spoken line and grunt. I put this playlist on the randomizer and ask the spirit of meditation/relaxation/core/myself/god to play the playlist like a finely tuned instrument to me. I then listen to what the universe has to say, i at the same time usually lie down in my comfortable, yet sparse, bed with a blanket and a pillow and listen intently. Sometimes this dialogue goes on for days and weeks, sometimes its only a few minutes, during this entire time I bombard myself with every negative thought about myself I can find, every dragon and demon and run straight towards them at full speed. They all dissapear without fail. Only the things that I have an emotional contact with remain. That way after a while of listening to "just chaos" there is an "order to it" and the universe makes sense, in a way, god is talking to me.
Your results may vary, as others smartly said, everyones method varies.
Anyway, hope this contributes.
Currently at ->http://gallareue.boards.net/thread/171/cenala-chalana-goddess-health-nature?page=16&scrollTo=8714
Cenala clearly guided me.
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Post by Cyan on Jan 1, 2020 20:00:37 GMT
So, its time to write this thing again, this is my third attempt, previous one was a tad bit too cold and not to the point so I'll rewrite. Lets see how it goes.
----
Hi all, I'm Aki, I've been a poster here for about a decade, I posted under many names so you may know me under a different alias, at least: Hkelukka, Aki Greus, Cyan, Hototo, Bourbon Betty, there maybe some others. So, I've been put on moderation lately and while that isnt the reason I'm leaving its a strong contributor. So, why am I leaving?
I've after being here for such a while seen the place slowly devolve into openly cult like behavior, without citing many examples I'll point out the whole feel of "sts is just evil murderers and orgies" as a main cause. It feels like a wasted opportunity to take such a balanced community and "pick a side". But as that is an established rule of the community I will bow out at this junction.
I've also adopted a opposite paradigm to the 4thD STO as "saved" or "harvested" and decided that the only worth goal is to maintain the veil as long as possible and to try to "reach higher" is essentially the same as trying to grasp the sceptre of magical power too soon and will bite.
As I said, I've adopted to a stance of 3rd D as primacy and in addition to that I feel 51% STS and 49% STO is most likely the proper choice for one trying to strive to be good. All your actions need to be illuminated and strengthened by what you desire for yourself, it is not even, in a sense, possible to work for "others" in the universe as it is.
So, I'll add the post I made about how I meditate which I wrote to another thread but due to moderation did not go through, for discussion. I'll try to answer in this thread to people and who comment and I'll be able to answer PM's. I'll cease those functions fairly quickly after posting but as long as the convo is active I'll stay. I've asked Gemini(central sun) to post this for me as I'm under moderation. Hopefully it will be accepted and we can have a good goodbye for me.
As a channeled spirit said. What if STS is right, are you content with how you fought?
In short, I believe the B4 devolved into a cult, I owe it to myself to make a well intentioned goodbye, as well as to those who might join later as a word of caution to show how I felt about it. I hope people resonate. I hope you all the best in the paths you've taken.
Here is post to STS meditation thread attached:
This thread calls to me. Lets see if this message goes through, ever since i got the "moderation" status none of my messages, the appropriate ones included, have gotten through, so, let us give this a try. I'm also certain now i'll leave very soon, was intending not to post, but as I said, this speaks to me.
Hello, I'm a negative being, as Ra explains it, I value wisdom over love, or rather, light over love, in that love should always be studied in the careful light of reason and not given into without deep study, when study concludes it is good for you then all obstacles in the path of that love should be removed with maximum efficiency and echolesness.
So, that being said, I meditate as follows.
I prefer either a sparse room, or a well populated public place where sitting just slightly out of the main path of traffic and doing my own thing, such as drinking a bottle of water, which i occasionally shake to denote interest in things like "well spoken, random background conversation, that was illuminating". If im at a sparse room such as my own appartment I prefer to have a large playlist of all my collected musics and videos from favorite TV shows to all random songs i've ever heard to every game characters every spoken line and grunt. I put this playlist on the randomizer and ask the spirit of meditation/relaxation/core/myself/god to play the playlist like a finely tuned instrument to me. I then listen to what the universe has to say, i at the same time usually lie down in my comfortable, yet sparse, bed with a blanket and a pillow and listen intently. Sometimes this dialogue goes on for days and weeks, sometimes its only a few minutes, during this entire time I bombard myself with every negative thought about myself I can find, every dragon and demon and run straight towards them at full speed. They all dissapear without fail. Only the things that I have an emotional contact with remain. That way after a while of listening to "just chaos" there is an "order to it" and the universe makes sense, in a way, god is talking to me.
Your results may vary, as others smartly said, everyones method varies.
Anyway, hope this contributes.
Currently at ->http://gallareue.boards.net/thread/171/cenala-chalana-goddess-health-nature?page=122
Cenala clearly guided me.
Cenala's blessing with you. May you always walk with feet tethered in the light of your own reason.
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Post by Cyan on Jan 1, 2020 20:01:29 GMT
Cenala's blessing with you. May you always walk with feet tethered in the light of your own reason.
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Post by Cyan on Jan 10, 2020 0:21:39 GMT
I just communicated with the Mods and they assure me that if I post in this thread one of them will approve it. I am skeptical having seen appropriate posts not be approved, but I'll give it a shot, if it doesn't go through I'll try to get someone to post for me. We'll see how it goes. Thanks all for the support and overwhelmingly positive response. It goes to show that my desire is well timed and intentioned. I will not be returning to the forum as its time has passed, I should have probably left shortly after Carla's passing as it felt appropriate then but this is as good a time as any. I will say that it is clear that attacking the "STS" or "Shadow Self" leads to the shadow realm, the best choice is to calmly merge with it or push through it into acceptance of having "overcome" but not to openly fight it. As they say so often in the Ayahuasca trips, no matter what scary things you see you just focus in on them and push through and you'll get to the other side. I've been reading everyone's response and I'll respond in general. I appreciate the support and I would love to stay here but the vibration has become incompatible with me and I must vacate. I've however noticed a distinct uptick in how well im doing ever since I adjusted to the new 51-49 stance. It seems to work well for me. I got my own apartment, new laptop, and numerous other minor things from it and it seems that trying to balance with the STS side is more appropriate than trying to be STO. In short, without knowing who you are and loving yourself first, in all its glory and horror, you cant know what others truly want because you will always try to paint what others are doing or wanting in the realm of your shadow. You will see their desires for their self expression as evil, as it is what you are denying in yourself. I've recently gotten back into making youtube videos of various topics and I will probably be active in this single thread only and respond for a while, post my videos and thoughts of my departing this place but will eventually close it down as its been long enough, but for now it should remain open. But if you want a long term view of what I'm doing I strongly recommend the Gallareue forum. When I joined the forum and the LL group it was centered around getting people to 4th D, positive or negative, after a while it started to form strongly around 4thD positive. Even if that had not occured, I would still feel out of place as for me the focus is on maintaining the Veil, or Creation around me instead of being pulled into the "gravity well of knowing". The uncertainty and the adventure inherent in 3D life is so valuable that I prefer not to even tempt losing it so leaving remains my only option. While the reasons I stated earlier apply I consider the main purpose to be value of 3D life. We've attempted religions, and secular ideas, of a state system where everyone is maintained at a high standard of living by the state, from Religious Dogoodism to Communism and they all fail, I do not see an outcome from everyone being maintained at a high standard of living by the state as a good one. I doubt we can achieve such even with infinite resources. There simply is no desire for it. That being said, we need a minimum standard of living for all the poor people that is higher than the current. In finland a store clerk at start gets 2200€ a month, while the social security is 550€ a month. Were the social security around a 1000€ a month I would support the system, for now the social security is much too low. So in many regards I agree, more social services paid by higher taxes is what we need, but not to the extent that most "do good" religious groups support. Such a system would not work, and in the language of EVE. Would be Amarrian. People must be rewarded for working to improve themselves, working to improve the community and other is its own reward but should not be done at the cost of yourself. I've also lately turned much against the Starfleet Federation idea of no first contact with prewarp and communalism. To me the idea of no contact with PreWarp civilizations is a huge setback and needs to be corrected. Im working with my full force to enable contact with a post warp civilization as soon as possible and I've documented my efforts to a great deal in public, from my conflict with the "angelic/floater" civilization for playing Gods to us to my assistance in the "angelic/amarrian" society's war against "galactic warming". All in all, if we dont get post warp contact soon, I sure have gained post warp status as myself. I consider myself to be well on my way to becoming the "center soul" for a galactic civilization and my efforts to turn myself from a "nation of one" to a being where all my cells have their own human form and we exist as a SMC in space spanning hundreds of starsystes. My progress towards such a goal is well on its way. The weirdest thing that has, as a result of my online activity, happened to me was my Bank told me that they noticed some money transfers to Greece in their account data and asked me if I recognize some numbers, they wrote them out and handed them to me. I didnt initially recognize them but when I went home and went through my EVE online bookkeeping I noticed they were exactly the same numbers and dates as some of my activity. It made me feel like the bank was telling me "yeah its real, but only if you use it appropriately for large things, you cant buy a car for yourself n such". To me this was the best contact i've had thus far. I am a real "galactic player" but only as long as my citizens approve. Corruption and I would be "voted out of office". It made me smile for days and weeks. Perhaps I should buy and haul all the trash and clean out the space In a larger scale, the thought "we cant leave our root behind" seems to apply here. I have no doubt I could cut my STO self as separate from my STS self and "ascend" to the godly realms and live in "eternal joy and bliss" but to quote the Buddha, "I would rather live in hell than in heaven. There are more people in hell that could use my help and advice." But living in the hell of the homelesness and the related troubles has taught me to survive hell, and to value not being there. So, I will be glad to answer any questions about my alignment, now "negatives" do things and so on and so forth. I will stay in the thread until interest in my departure vanes but until then. I wish you all the best and sorry I didnt respond poster by poster. Best regards.
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