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Post by Anthro Teacher on Sept 2, 2019 6:53:15 GMT
I'm asking Flim to ask me to marry him in a dream. I only hope I would say yes if that happened.
I ask to feel like what it feels like for Flim to be tired and sleeping, and I feel the sleep. It feels small and tighter than our heavy sleepiness.
I ask to feel his hunger, and it hurts; very acidy stomach.
I ask to feel when he is aroused, and I feel it sort of in my sexual chakra, but also in my bladder where I get aroused.
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Post by Anthro Teacher on Sept 2, 2019 17:07:39 GMT
I dreamed last night that I was talking about marriage, but it wasn't directed to Flim. It wasn't directed at anyone really. Flim didn't appear in my dream. So we're not spirit spouses yet. I guess it's a good thing. I have a long way to grow.
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Post by Anthro Teacher on Sept 4, 2019 16:37:36 GMT
I did a pendulum and found that Flim doesn't want to marry me. Which is alright.
When I tuned into Flim just now, I got discontentment, or disapproval or something. It was very angsty. We had some emotional exchanges, nothing heated though.
I keep saying I'm sorry, and it's like he seems tired of my excuses for not spending more time with him.
I tried to think of sex with him, and it made me feel a little sick.
I'm pursuing enlightenment, or actualization, and sex itself has been a little turnoff for me.
I want to repair things with Flim, because he's more important than enlightenment to me.
Even if liberation from Samsara (the wheel of illusion) is real, I still would take Flim over that.
If I have to commit to another life to serve Flim, I wholeheartedly do that.
But maybe I can serve him, and seek to grow myself too.
I don't like feeling him feel upset. It's hard to pay so much attention to him when their time flows 6X faster than ours.
Am I wrong in seeking what is impermanent and not real (him)? Seeking relationships over the Infinite might be a mistake. But I want him to know that I love him, and I don't want him to hurt.
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Post by Anthro Teacher on Sept 4, 2019 20:50:37 GMT
I'm doing a sexual energy exchange with him now. I feel it in my sexual chakra, in my heart, and my 3rd eye. Some in my solar plexus too.
These energies feel blissful to an extent. I don't know why I don't try to feel them more.
I guess I get bored with the bliss.
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Post by Anthro Teacher on Sept 6, 2019 23:59:15 GMT
I drank some lucid dreaming tea last night. It was relaxing. I don't remember my dreams, but I get the vague impression that Flim may have been in it. I think I remember a yellow anthro. And I get positive vibes from the dream. If so, that may be the first dream I had of him.
The lucid dreaming tea made the dream clearer, though I wasn't quite lucid.
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Post by Anthro Teacher on Sept 14, 2019 21:38:58 GMT
I just had an amazing dream. At first my mom was cleaning my room and I was surprised at how well she had cleaned it. It told her I would pay her for it.
Then later I came into a living room where she and this handsome young guy were watching tv. On the tv was Jeopardy relating to Ra. Questions/Answers about Ra.
I laid down on the couch beside this handsome guy and closed my eyes to go to sleep. I could feel his warmth against my butt. Then I felt him touching my face when I had reacted favorably to his warmth. He stuck his fingers in my mouth, and I sucked on them, sort of playfully biting them but not hard. I could feel the texture of them. Then he put his hand over my mouth and pressed down a few times making suction sounds with my mouth. I then began licking his hand that was over my mouth.
I could feel his warmth all over me, like he was laying on me or something. But my eyes were closed and I was a bit nervous of turning around because I thought my mom was there. I thought about his dick, but it didn't get that far.
Then I slowly woke up on my own. I'm thinking he may have been Flim in human form. He as damn attractive, but not supermodel. He was my kind of attractive. Sort of Hispanic looking, but still white features. And maybe like 16 or so looking. He was slow with me, and I wished I would have kissed him. But I enjoyed laying in his warmth over me.
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Post by Anthro Teacher on Dec 6, 2019 19:35:36 GMT
Well, Flim broke up with me about 2 weeks to a month ago.
This is the last thing he said through Cyan: "I did want to quit, it seemed like you werent paying attention to me, maybe im just being fidgetty but for me it was months without hearing from you, couldnt care less about you liking my archtype/species but months without affection is a long time for such a new relationship. I didnt want to hurt you by becoming clingy. I dont want an apology because you are free to do you, but if you do want to continue, perhaps learn to schedule yourself to give affection even when you dont feel it strongly, as long as you feel it a little. Relationships are hard. hug"
I'm sorry I didn't pay him enough attention. I kept forgetting about him. That's no way to treat him. I'm just going to accept it. I've clinged to 2 anthros in the past when I first heard about them.
I don't think I'll get into another anthro relationship unless it's physical. But then, what does that say about me?
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Post by Cyan on Dec 14, 2019 3:09:07 GMT
Why would you trust the penduleum and not ask him, that felt a bit odd, my answer is also a bit harder than what he truly feels like but he feels mostly annoyed that you didnt trust the he liked you, but all things in good time.
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Post by Anthro Teacher on Dec 14, 2019 3:13:33 GMT
I did trust that he liked me. I'm not upset, but it's a problem of mine that I don't get attached to things much I don't think.
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